Motherhood: Help Wanted

Raising young children certainly has it’s perks—the hugs, kisses, drawings and heartfelt “I love you”s make even the most tedious of daily tasks all worth it.

But if I could be honest for just a minute here…there are a few jobs I’d really prefer to outsource…

Car Seat Fastener/Un-Fastener

The time it takes to run my normal weekly errands is TRIPLED by the time it takes to get two kids in and out of two car seats.

I don’t know what is so difficult about sitting down and putting your arms in the straps so mom can come by and just snap, snap, snap everyone in…but it seems to be the most unappealing, impossible task I’ve ever asked of my children.

Official Word Speller

Now that Adelaide is learning how to write, she wants to write cards and stories and pictures with labels and to-do lists… I applaud her enthusiasm, but the hidden consequence of her newfound skill is the necessity for my participation as her personal dictionary. (Which I find hilarious because I was, and still am, a terrible speller!)

I would love for her to write her “to-do” list for the day without needing my help to spell each and every letter in the phrase “brush my teeth” or “get dressed” or “annoy my sister”. (That last one never makes it onto her official list, but somehow happens everyday, regardless.)

Snow Clothes Dresser/Un-Dresser

IT’S SNOWING!! Their unfiltered joy is infectious. Yes! Yes! Of course we can go outside and play in it! Let’s get dressed!

….20 minutes later…

Ok! We’re finally ready to go out and play the SNOW!!

…5 minutes later…

Aaaannnnd we’re back inside, crying, asking for hot cocoa and Tinker Bell movies.

Sippy Cup Czar

In any given day, I think I fill and subsequently wash 34817204 sippy cups. 

I am all for hydration. It’s super important. And 2-5 year olds aren’t quite patient enough to sit at a table while they drink their liquid, therefore I recognize that cups with lids are a necessary evil. 

But I can’t help but dream about all the things I could accomplish if I had all of those minutes, ALL THOSE MINUTES, that are spent unscrewing lids, filling up cups, screwing lids back on, picking-up stray cups from the floor and washing said cups…If I had all of those minutes back, I could read a book! Hell, I could WRITE a book! Honestly though…I’d probably check Facebook… #truth

If any of these positions interest you or someone you know, please leave a comment below. Compensation based on qualifications—up to 50% of my personal salary (which is $0 annually).
Yay motherhood!!

I hope you have an absolutely amazing Mother’s Day weekend! May you only have to do the things about motherhood that you enjoy 😉