I find myself reaching all too familiar levels of sleep deprivation. Yesterday, I couldn’t find the dish towel I had just been using. Matt found it. In the garbage can. I have no recollection of putting it in the garbage can…but I did!
I’m irritable ALL. THE. TIME.
I’m down right angry a lot of the time.
I have zero patience.
My jaw muscles are so sore from all the sleepless stress-clenching that it’s affecting my ability to chew. (ed. this may be a clever way to shed a few pounds pre holidays…hmm)
No amount of coffee has been able to lift the fog in my brain.
I’m unable to stay focused on a single activity.
I’m completely overwhelmed by my *totally average* daily to-do list.
Something has to change.
Cadence hasn’t been sleeping, and its wreaking havoc on our family. Every night she wakes up between 12 and 2. And then sometimes again between 4 and 6. Before finally waking up for the day at 6:50am.
I thought we were getting better…I was weaning her off night-time milk. We were getting occasional full nights of sleep at seemingly more frequent intervals. We successfully trained her to stay in her big-girl-bed and even FINALLY managed to get Adelaide and Cadence to go to bed in the same room, at the same time.
And while so many of those things are still happening and that’s awesome, the thing that isn’t happening is sleeping through the night. Every time she wakes up, she wants milk before she falls back asleep. And since she’s the most stubborn two-year-old I’ve ever met, she makes it an all-out battle to go back to sleep without milk.
I keep looking for reason for her terrible sleep schedule…
Her two-year-old molars are coming in. But even when we giver her Tylenol or Motrin she STILL wakes up.
Potty training? It’s going extremely well, and I consider her “trained”. Still though, experts say that when toddlers learn new skills, sometimes they regress in other areas of their life. That could be it…
She says she has bad dreams, but either she can’t articulate what is frightening her or “bad dreams” are just her excuse du jour (nuit?) for waking up and getting out of bed in the middle of the night. We’ve cut WAY back on which tv shows she’s allowed to watch, and how often she’s allowed to watch them. Her TV habits were never that liberal, but shows with theatrical villains have been taken off the list and replaced with known quantities like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and Sesame Street.
She still naps for two hours every day, but even on the days when she naps for one hour, her night-time sleep doesn’t improve. And her naps are consistently in the middle of the day, 12:30-2:30 like clock work, so it’s not an issue of napping to late in the day.
Honestly…I think we may have just reached critical-mass for all of the lazy middle-of-the-night parenting I’ve been doing. That is the WORST time to have to be a “good” parent. It’s the time of day when I’m the laziest and I want the easiest solution that yields the fastest and most consistent back-to-sleep results… and by parenting this way I may have created my current predicament. I really thought that with time and gentle urging, she’d drop the night milk and stop waking up. Not so much… This parenting thing…it’s hard!!
Ugh…
Alright. Enough of my complaining…I’m off to take a nap and try to do something productive with the rest of my day…
If any of you have an 8 hour tranquilizer, please send it my way.
For me.
And maybe also Cadence.
Easy, fast & fun
Heather! Oh my goodness, I was in your shoes just last month!! Eleanor is also 2, and admittedly I didn’t do so well at night weaning. We tried reading a great book together, called “Nursies When the Sun Shines,” (nursiesbook.com) which I think would have been great it I had stuck with that phrase consistently. We eventually had to change her entire routine, and we replaced nursing with back rubs. She was so ticked that she screamed until 3 AM for two nights in a row, and then she started to wear down. It’s much better now, and my husband can get up with her in the night instead of me. Phew! There is strength in desperation!
Oh, Cori! Screaming until 3 am is definitely something I can commiserate with you about 🙁 And you are absolutely right! Misery often provides the motivation to enact change, as difficult as that change may be. That book looks AWESOME!!! I wish I had found it sooner. But now it’s in my repertoire to recommend to tired mommies like us 🙂 Thank you!!
As the father of a very stubborn almost 3 year old who still insists on someone laying with him to go to bed each night – all I can say is Hang in there. This too shall pass. No child ever went to college needing night time milk etc. Sheppard seems to have a very similar sleep schedule – he too wakes up at those times but is looking for a snuggle rather than milk. So don’t be surprised if it tales awhile. I say do what you have to do to function the rest of the day. She’ll eventually grow out of it, just like everything else.
Hi Heather! I’d suggest leaving a sippy cup with water in her room (on her bedside table or dresser) so she can help herself to it in the middle of the night. If she insists on milk, you can tell her that her dentist/pediatrician said that drinking milk during the night isn’t good for her teeth. Sometimes having a neutral (yet authoritative) third party provide the impetus for new behavior is more effective than parental requests. I wish you luck!
We’ve been using the water sippy cup strategy for a while now, and let me tell you, it’s extra irritating to have her demand milk, for me to suggest her water cup if she’s thirsty, and to have her refuse the water. I know she’s not thirsty! Just stubborn….but your suggestion about the doctor/dentist is brilliant! I’m going to implement that tonight! Thank you!!
hi! i am a friend of joy from frock files. i totally agree that middle of the night is the hardest time to be a good parent. from the time my daughter was several months old, our pediatrician told us never to give her milk in the middle of the night, only water. they said she would always wake up for milk if we gave it to her. we didn’t listen and finally, at some point close to the final weaning, we eventually had to just stop giving milk in the middle of the night. my husband would deal with putting her back to sleep. i can’t remember the particulars of how it all worked out; it gets confused in my head with when we cut the going to sleep nursing. iirc, it was horrible for like one night, and then she got the picture and sleep was much better.
for division of labor and sanity, my husband still handles any middle of the night wake-ups (kid is now 3), and i almost always (but for sure if he has had to wake up at night) get up with her in the AM.
Robyn! I love your comment! You’re completely right, she goes to back to sleep for my husband MUCH better than she goes back to sleep for me. We’re both zombies right now, so I’m trying to pull most of the weight at night so he’s able to get through the work day. That might be making things worse…I’ll have to see if he’s up for a night or two of hardcore sleep training to try and get this girl back on track!
Oh noes! That is the worst. And you’re so right about it being the worst time to be at your best. Sleep deprivation hits me so hard.
I’m guessing that you’ve tried just quitting the nighttime bottle cold turkey? Hence the battles?
It’s been many years since I had to deal with nighttime waking so I’m afraid I have no sage advice to offer. I will say that we had our kids listen to a lullaby CD when they were little, and for a while when they would wake up, we’d just go in and turn it on for them and leave the room.
Any chance that could work for you guys?
Hoping you all get some rest soon!
I LOVE your lullaby idea!! Trying to think if I have anything I can use tonight…It just might do the trick. Thank you!!