Saying goodnight to my baby

Tonight is Adelaide’s last night in her crib…I’m kind of an emotional wreck!

I’m sitting here on the couch trying to choke down my reheated chinese food and not bawl my eyes out over this tiny, probably insignificant, milestone.

Nothing in my life has prepared me for this incredible tug-of-war between wanting to cling to my baby girl and simultaneously LOVING the little girl she’s become. Motherhood is so insane!

Life seems to move so rhythmically and quickly these days—I see my daughters growing before my eyes through their steadily increasing shoe and clothing sizes. But it isn’t until moments like this, when the girls are sleeping, and Matt is out with the guys, and I’m sitting in a quiet house eating leftover spicy chicken when all of a sudden, time is standing still and I realize that I will never again lay my sweet baby girl down in her crib, kiss her head and say “ni-night, have sweet dreams, I love you”.

She no longer needs the safety of those four slatted walls when she sleeps at night. She’s ready for the responsibility of pillows and blankets and a bed she can vacate on her own terms.

I’m so excited (and a little nervous) for her big-girl bed—but tonight, right now, I’m letting myself be appropriately sad that this chapter in Adelaide’s life is coming to an end.

Screw this chinese food. I’m getting a cookie.